Checking In...

Haven't you ever wanted to:

Pack your bags,

Go to the station without them,

Catch the train,

And leave your self behind?

(author unknown)

This is how I've been feeling for

the past few weeks...my health

issues are preceding everything

else in my life and just to come

here and write today took all I

had inside of me. 

An update on the Health journey-

My eczema is covering almost

75% of my body now and to top

it all off I have been retaining

water in my body.  So much so

that I've been put on medicine

to keep the water moving out of

me along with potassium.  I have

an appointment with a Hematologist

next week as my red blood cell count

is pretty high.  My doctor has been

concerned about Congestive Heart

Failure, thus the need for me to see

the Hematologist.  Normally I would

not be so concerned myself but my

first born son died of this at the age

of 28, so I do have a generic marker

in there that needs to be watched.

I am trying very hard not to dwell on

this and give it energy.  However,

there are times when my mind rests

in this space and I wonder what will

happen if this should be the case.  I

realize it is too soon to tell, but given

the fact that I have had heart problems

for years, when my doctor uttered those

words, something inside of me was

uttering them at the same time and I

even said them aloud to her at precisely

the moment she spoke them.  Weird.

Just plain weird.  And then I think no,

not so weird...I'm listening to my body

speak.  So yes, I've wanted to pack my

bags and go to the station without them

and leave my self behind.

The medicine leaves me feeling dizzy and

weak so I've been spending most of my

time resting and reading...a few days I

was feeling a tad better and got out and

took a short walk around my yard and to

gather the mail.  I have pushed myself to

do the most minimal of chores around my

home.  Today I have to do up some dishes

and push the vacuum a bit but that will

take all my energy and I will then take a

small nap. 

Right now I'm watching the birds cavort

around the yard and I am enjoying their

springtime building and funny antics with

one another.  We got about an inch of snow

overnight so watching the Robins hop around

in the snow looking for worms is funny, but

find them they do!  I've also been watching

the Eagle Cam online from time to time as

well as clicking on a link once I'm there to watch

the Hummingbirds.  One is nesting and one has

three new babies.  All are adorable.  I got my

hummer feeder up last week.  They are due to

go through my neck of the woods.  If you are

interested in watching either the Eagles or the

Hummers go here:

http://www.ustream.tv/decoraheagles

Please know that I think of you all even when

I'm not here...each day I send you blessings

of peace, joy and love.  Each day I wonder

what you all are up to but by the time I get on

and check a few blogs I'm worn out and just

read a few minutes and then go back to resting.

Thank You Merry Me, Mary T., and Sorrow for

the letters and cards...I'll answer soon!  :)

On a good note, I received a beautiful package

in the mail from my Sister Shalahnia from our

Water Group...she lives out in California and

works diligently praying and doing ceremony

for Waterways...in the package was a vial of

water that has been blessed and is sacred...

it comes from ceremonies done by women all

over the world.  The Nile River, The White Well

in England, Mount Shasta, The Delphi in Greece,

The Vicchi Springs in France, The Oregon

Medicine Wheel, American River and so much

more.  I will take this Sacred Water and add it

to the waterways in my area when I am feeling

better.  She also gifted me with an amazing

black t-shirt that was embroidered by one of

the women supporting another Grandmother's

group that works to purify the waters of

Mother Earth...the embroidery work is exquisite

and depicts the fishes swimming, and beautiful

flowers, etc...I'm very blessed!!!  Our waters

here in lower Wisconsin will be blessed and

will carry those loving energies and intentions

on to other waters of our planet.  Such joy

and magnitude when I think of that!  I pray

you all can get to a body of water this Earth

Day...which is coming up real fast, eh?

Okay...I'm pooped and am going to go and

rest a bit...I wish for all of you a day of

resting in Mother/Father God's Beauty in

whatever way it comes to you...

Love, Love, Love,