Otter Medicine is Female. It is about moving into the
River of Life gently, and flowing with the Waters of the
Universe, balancing all aspects of ourselves.
In walking through the passing of my first cousin two
weeks ago, I realized some things about myself that
I hadn't touched upon in quite some time. His leaving
opened up a storm of tears that I've been experiencing
every day. Normally, I am a natural crier. Everything
touches my spirit and I find tears even in joy. You
know, the Hallmark Card commercial, or some other
sappy moment on the tele that touches the heart
chakra. I've always been that way and probably will
always be that way. So when grief comes along, it
hits you on the shoulders like a sword cutting you to
the bone. Sorrow runs deep in me.
The tears become different, take on a different
flow, they hurt when falling, they hurt inside and
out, and they fall without you even realizing they
are falling at times. They just are there.
So here is what I learned this past week and
even up to today...
That I am still suffering trauma from those who
left me at an early age, even though I have
moved through those deaths and am now an
Adult and can process more healthily. That
everytime a new death occurs, I seem to walk
through all of them and this is something I am
very keen on working on, now that I know I am
doing this, and this is HUGE for me!
That I don't have to pull up 'the bad, the cruel,
and the ugly to move through them. I am not
'the bad one,' or the black sheep...I am unique,
and yes, even lovable. (Dealing with estranged
family through all of this)
I can honor the person I am grieving for in my
very own way, I do not have to follow the
dictates of society that says I have to go to a
funeral and pay my respects to the living ones
left...I can honor the person who has crossed
through the veils by remembering good times,
seeing them in my mind's eye, laughing and yes
crying too. I may call or send a card or choose
not to do anything at all. Whatever serves my
spirit and soul to help ease my pain, my sorrow.
Mostly I want to dance/hold in celebration of the life
lived by those I love and will miss, and I can let
the flow of tears move like Otter...gliding through
the natural flow of water that moves through me,
and embrace the playfulness that Otter brings, by
celebrating in Joy and Happy Times of my Loved Ones.
I was taught by my Sundance Sister that Tears are
Healing...and I so believe this. Tears will always
be a part of me, and next time I experience the
death of a loved one, I am going to call on Otter
Medicine to come and embrace me...to glide gently
into the Waters with me and swim through it all
with abandon. No more vascillating over what to
do...I can do whatever I need to do for me to Honor
the 'Spirit' that once lived here. I will embrace my
sorrow.
In the book 'Safe Passage' by Molly Fumia, I came
across a passage that reads...
"Give voice to sorrow. Lend words to loneliness.
Make heard the depth of your despair and the
breaking of your heart. For what remains
unspoken can never burst into healing song."
Hmmm....perchance I'm alright after all?
Thank You Sweet Otter Spirit for showing up
today...and Thank You Sweet Element of
Water who constantly flows through me and
around me!
And Thank You to All who stopped in to leave
a kind, compassionate word for me...you will
never know the depths of which your words touched me.
(here on this blog and on HeartSongs!)
You are loved...and as wise Jamie Sams and
David Carson convey in their book Medicine Cards,
"Realize that the only flow is the flow of love from
the Great Spirit to you, from you to others, and from
others back to you.
A'HO!
6 comments:
How precious your healing. How HUGE your discoveries are for you, methinks this will help others. Me for one.
My Dad left me with my Mother, for a visit, before I was a year old. Then came and retrieved me, took me to his sister's, and there I remained. He married 5 times. With the last wife he had two children, close in age to my daughters.
My mother and I reunited in my twenties, she took off after about a year, and we never saw each other again. She died when my son, who is now gone too, was three years old.
There is much, much, more to this as you can imagine.
A few years back I worked through this with a counselor and finished my journey through the spirit.
You are a dear one to share this for other's.
Sending you love and good energy, blessed kindred of the spirit and heart.
I am thankful for your friendship.
What a moving post! I am like you. Tears flow at the drop of the hat. I can watch a movie with a sad ending and cry every time. I, too, grieve for those who left this earth long ago...my grandmother who died when I was 16, my first dog who died when I was 20, my dad, my mom. I am going to read and reread this post. Thank you, my friend.
Mary
Friend,
As yo can imagine this has touched some very tender places in my heart. I've just read a few things about tears and grief, but of course I have to remember where they were!
I am sorry for your loss. For the pain of all the losses that piles up and weighs heavy. I've been told this is "complicated" grief! As if every day regular old grief is not complicated. It's like a snow ball rolling down hill collecting sorrow as it goes along. When it comes to an abrupt halt at the end of the hill you have a big ball of icky, icy pain.
I honor your sorrow and pray for your peace.
What a beautiful and heart-felt post. I had goosebumps while reading it, as it resonated with me.
I lost my husband 14 months ago. Grieving is like an open wound. It scabs over for a bit and then lashes open to bleed over and over.
I live alone now and even though I don't like the loneliness, I have the freedom to scream and yell, to sob and cry for a long as I need. My pain and grief have a very strong voice.
The waters are quieter now. The pain gentle as healing is beginning to take hold.
And I am blessed to have children and grandchildren to reach out to whenever I need human compassion and joy.
Thank you for teaching about otter medicine. I will look it up in my Animal Speak book (and also the Medicine cards you refer to).
For me, it was butterflies. Butterflies are souls come back from the dead to tell us all is well. My dear husband has sent many butterflies to soothe my tortured soul in the months following his passing.
Love and Light,
Grief is a very powerful energy.
It can overtake one, it can cause old wounds to
resurface, it can take hold of your spirit and speak
to your soul.
The Earth speaks to you sweet spirit...
and you listen.
You ponder the lesson
gifted you with much wisdom and grace.
You have arrived at a place of peace within
and honor the loss as safe passage of a spirit to
a place beyond pain and suffering.
Embracing you with love and kindness...
hugs and love Word Dancer
Oh how I feel you, Dear Tender Heart... I resonate deeply with your soulful expression and healing. You've done some incredible work... My heart is with you... I Love You... Blessings, Warm Hugs and Much Peace,
Donna Rose xoxox
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