Happy Spring!!!
Humorist Mark Twain said, "It's spring fever...You don't quite know what it is you Do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!"
We all know that the Spring Equinox is about balance...Birth-Death, beginnings-endings,
light-dark, the list could be never ending as we seek to bring our inner world into balance with our outer world...and all of it hard work if we are earnest and honorable with ourselves.
That being said...Mark Twain's quote is so appropriate, for me at least. Last year I set into motion a change geographically...a need to change the home I live in and now it is fast upon me. Why is it then that I have been internally questioning if I really want to make this move?
Part of me hates to give up a place that for me has been healing...what I mean is...I have been able to work here in solitude for the most part...I'm able to walk out of my door at any given time and immediately connect to Mother Earth...I've had the priviledge and honor of being able to observe and connect with the plants and animals that cohabit with me here and so in that respect, I sit here weeping in sadness that I will be leaving this behind. No more walking out of my door to check on the rapsberry bushes I planted two years ago and have been able to harvest last year, no more talking with Miss Ruby the resident hummingbird that I enticed by planting Fuschia and then astoundingly
making her aquaintence two years ago as she watched me from across the yard, sitting upon a rooftop and then decided I would bring her no harm.
I will miss her so much! We had an unspoken agreement that I would not take any pictures of her...she was skittish around cameras and I decided not to intrude. She was beauty personified as she flitted about the flowers I would plant for the benefit of herself and the bees as well as the birds and butterflies...my heart fairly aches with it.
So...how do I balance this out?
Where I am moving to, I will have no place to work in solitude, to plant, and connect with things that my heart needs deeply to survive.
I have to reverently pray about this, to be sure.
I am looking forward to the move in other areas though...a bathroom with handicap access, laundry access, a dishwasher (which I've never, ever had, lol, and so look forward to...as well as being able to connect with other older folks. Is this the balance then? Hardly seems worth it in retrospect, because for me The Earth Church means everything, but I must be realistic, (and I really dislike that word.)
As you can see by my new background, Spring is in the air...I heard my first Robin on March 11th and two days later saw her through the branches on the tree out back, singing her morning song. My heart fairly swooned! And now...I've not heard her in a few days...I'm wondering where she's gotten off to?
Of course our weather has been very cold and snowy still and today it is very, very cold...I think our high today is 10. Brrrrrrr...
On Monday this week I awoke to Woodpecker pecking away in the very same tree I spotted the Robin in...it was music to my ears and heart.
Woodpecker medicine has been with me for about 20 years now...it began inside my medicine wheel as I was praying one morning...I glanced something moving in the tree adjacent to where I was standing, and there to my surprise were two baby woodpeckers playing. It was a playful and joyous moment...since then I've experienced them in times of drumming in a medicine wheel, and them hanging around me in other places...I welcome their message.
And then there is Ant...yes...I'm being visited by little Sweet Ants or grease ants as they are sometimes called.
Ant medicine is about community, patience, unity...these wee little creatures carry huge amounts on their backs...I've been known to do just that many times throughout my life...so I will examine what is going on in my surroundings that this medicine is showing up for me just now.
I know I'm late wishing you all a Happy St. Patrick's Day...which was the birthday of my Dear Mother...followed by the birthday of my Dear departed Father...so I've been doing the aching grief thing but only in fits and starts...it isn't as deep and cutting as it used to be...I had to come to terms with that...so I had quite a nice chat with them and held them in a birthday celebratory mode/mood and ended up doing quite well.
I just got word via the telephone that I only have one more thing to get through on my move...Landlord Reference...and then I'm looking at moving on May 1st....keep your fingers crossed! :)
I'm sure I'm missing a million other things I wanted to share with you today but I do want to wish each and every one of you a Glorious First Day of Spring and whatever that entails for you personally.
We all celebrate it in vastly different ways so to that honor I will leave you with the prayer from St. Francis of Assisi who prayed:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled,
as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen
P.S. Our Sisters Robin Larkspur at Wiccan Writes and Sandy from Sandy Sandy Art have husbands who are facing some pretty tough stuff right now...let's keep them in our prayertime and send healing to all concerned. If you'd like to leave a message for Sandy...here's a link:
and for Robin...Wiccan Writes
Prayers going up on the smoke!!!
A'HO!
6 comments:
Oh, my friend, you will be happy. I was thrilled to leave the house I lived in prior to moving into this apartment, but before that, there had been this small little apartment in the back of a house. I had full use of the backyard and planted the most magical garden. Many a night were spent out under the moon in what I called the land of the fae. When they sold it, and I was told I had to move, I was devastated.
So, I know exactly the mixed emotions you are feeling at this time. I can tell you that, in time, you will adjust, and you will always remember. I am hoping one day to get photos of that garden on a disc so I can show them on my blog.
Love you, dear sister
Mary
So happy sweet Mary had good news to share!
I loved this post! Hearing of your love for Mother Earth Church is a favorite of mine too.
The nature you love will seek you out! I just know it. It may be in a different forms, but no matter, you will love it.
When I moved into FCT a place for us" On Golden Pond Persons", there was no balcony or porch. The studio apartment had wide double windows and a wide window sill, for my plants and precious items.
During that time of my life, it was what I could afford. I was within walking distance of a very good library.
I've heard the Cicada this month, but not the whippoorwill!
Facing change, I know it well, I have changed often. It has always worked out.
Sending prayers for those you mentioned. I like the idea of prayers going up in the smoke.
You are always in my thoughts and prayers. You have great courage and heart!
Love and ((hugs))
the wild magnolia
I have left more than one place kicking and screaming and holding tight to the doorknob. When married to a Naval officer we moved every 2 years for the first 10 years of our marriage. You'd think I got used to it, but I never really did. Even though I knew that I would eventually settle in, make friends, and accept the change. There is undoubtedly something wonderful awaiting your arrival. I pray that your prayers are answered.
Did you take this robin picture? I've only seen a few in my neighborhood, and they are always hopping around the grass. Can barely see their chubby red breasts. Now the woodpecker is another story! And I find this hard to believe, but I might have heard a whiporwill tonight. I don't even know what one looks like but whatever was singing in my back yard sure sounded like he was saying, "whip -or-will."
Your writing here spoke to me of many things ,even the unspoken. It is often miraculous how just small glimmers into a persons depth reveal so much. Nowhere on my blog did I speak of an affinity with my animal medicine totem background yet there you were, and when I got here a soft smile I gave. Humming bird to my right,horse to my left. Hummingbirds don't return to New England until late April but I call upon it for my joy whenever needed. Have you ever read any of Lyn Andrews books , perhaps in your new home you may wish to either again pick one back up or read one for the first time because I read your blog I thought of her.
Thank you so much for stopping by my blog. I don't always speak deeply there but I am glad you came by on a day I did.
Be Well ,
Willow
Thanks Sisters of My Heart!!!
I don't know why this move is so heart-wrenching for me...I only ever experienced this one other time in my life and I cried for days and days...it took a long time to get over that one. When I moved here I thought it would surely be my last move, but I had no idea the Landlord would raise the rent from year to year...and I can no longer afford it...and for a one room apartment it just isn't worth the headache.
Mary...I wish you would get your pics on disc...that'd be something to see! Sandi...it must be wonderful to hear the Cicada and Whiporwill so early in the year...
Merry ME...the robin I found on Photobucket but it is so close to what the tree out back looks like it may as well be its twin...and as for the whiporwill I am sure you did hear it! :)
Dear Willow Sister...when I stopped in by way of Sandra at The Wild Magnolia (I think, lol)I felt a coming home...when you spoke of melancholy the way you did, sweet tears began to fall as they so often do with me...I've been experiencing melancholy greatly the past two months as they mark the anniversaries of the deaths of my parents in February and then both of them were born in March...hard not to think about it?
I didn't have time to comment as my Daughter knocked on the door and I had to quick run but I will go over now and leave a comment...I'm so glad I found you!
I love you all so very much and count my blessings for our connection!
Akasa xoxoxo
Dear Sweet Lady! I wish I could find words to make you feel comfort in your decision to move and in your feelings of loss, but all I can offer is my friendship and love. Thank you so much for your healing prayers for my husband. "Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response." ~ Mildred Barthel "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
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