Letting Go

I'm in a state of letting go this morning...grieving
actually.  Last evening I received a phone call from
my very favorite cousin Judi, that her brother is in the last
stages of cancer...lung, bone, spine...in other words it is
spreading through his body.  He is on chemo and
radiation therapy at this point and only Creator knows
what will happen from this moment forward.

Suffice it to say that I've had some pretty rough
moments...I've shed a lot of tears, even managed
some laughter with her, and a promise to be at her
side when the moment comes to say so long.

How can this be?  David is 52 years young!  He's
always been a hard worker, took care of his family,
including me at times, (when I needed a mechanic to
work on my car...he's the best).  David had a father
who was an alcoholic, like many men in my family,
and his father was very abusive to him.  He was in
two marriages where the women took advantage of
his kindness and compassion, and took him to the
cleaners financially, but he did manage to rebuild
his life after each two attempts, and he raised his
son all by himself.  Sometimes it just seems life is
so brutal.  In my heart of hearts I know these are
the contracts my Dear cousin contracted but I wish
it was not ending for him like this...and I guess that
is why I am upset...hell, I don't even have a word
for what I am feeling right now.  Upset, sad, grieving,
but also trying to breathe in the peace of his final
hours with us, however long that may be.

Now I only pray for no pain in his body, for a chance
to tell him how I have always loved him, and perhaps
be able to converse with him about how he feels
about this final phase here on earth and a beginning
in a new dimension.    This will be hard as he is a
very private person.  I pray that we can talk.  I pray
he knows I care and love him like a brother.

This morning I've held in my mind, scenes from when
we were all young...that wonderful smile he has...and
growing up getting into fun mischief with my boy
cousin...never anything to get in trouble much over,
but mischief nonetheless.  I'm also thinking of times
when we were able to share from the heart and am
praying that that will happen again.  I love him so....

I find the music of Liquid Mind calming and thought
I'd share a bit of it with you all today...please keep
us in your prayers and maybe light a candle for David.
Thank You in advance for those who do.  
I love you too!